I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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