is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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