i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Someone signed my nipple.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
