we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
