I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
