apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
