I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she told me i tasted like america
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize