She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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