i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
