please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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