He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize