I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
