Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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