what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
