Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
whose parrot is this?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
