I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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