Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
