I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I think your dad took our porno
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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