i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
