my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
