As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
