I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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