Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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