she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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