I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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