Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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