at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
