I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
