hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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