She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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