i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Randomize
