So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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