JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and she was petting her beer can
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
