Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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