walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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