omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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