okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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