so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
