So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
