Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
