i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
