I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
