..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
