The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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