Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
