somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
