Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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