I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you would pick up someone in the library
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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