it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
