If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
FUCK WHALES
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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