It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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