what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
