i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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