WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
